New Theories coming soon

I have finally returned from my long work related hiatus and can finally start working on publishing some new and hopefully exciting theories. To just name a few I have Star Wars yoda theory, Chrono Trigger, Zelda and a whole bunch of movie ones. Stay tuned.

Star Wars: Unkar Plutt was trying to protect Rey

Like so many movies (primarily in the 80’s) there is always that one character who is a hard ass jerk to the main character. They always find a way to redeem themselves just in time to save to the day.  Alternatively, their reason for being a jerk is proven to be justified in a reveal later in the movie. You know what I mean; camp counselors saying we should leave Crystal Lake, a jock who suddenly realizes the nerd is an alright guy, everyone that says, “Let’s not go in there” and sure enough they should have not, or a concerned father putting his teenage daughter in the corner at the dance.

The father had a right to be concerned
The father had a right to be concerned

Star Wars is no exception to this trope. Let’s not forget Han is in it for the money, and not the cause, in episode 4. After he buggers off, he comes back just in time to save Luk,e and rest is history. After seeing some footage that was cut from episode 7 I am now thinking Plutt fits into the “he’s not that bad of a guy”category. After all, under that costume is Simon Pegg.

I can win this argument just by showing you this picture
I can win any argument on Plutt just by showing  this picture

Continue reading “Star Wars: Unkar Plutt was trying to protect Rey”

[Family Guy] Stewie is gay

Family guy is no stranger to controversy or crossing the line. Whether they are doing an abortion episode or taking a shot at Michael J. Fox, there is very little they won’t do for a laugh. Personally, I would not be surprised if one of the writers on the show is revealed to be a serial killer.

This silky smooth voice will be the last thing you hear.
This silky smooth voice will be the last thing you hear.

Well at some point in the last 10 years the writers decided to make  one of the biggest characters in the show, Stewie, a homosexual. Well, they didn’t outright say it, but it was been heavily hinted at as scene by this YouTube video. Also in an interview with pl Continue reading “[Family Guy] Stewie is gay”

Star Wars: Midichlorians and the important role they play

Ever been asked the question “where were you when (whatever event) happened?” Like, where were you when you when you found out Kaiser Soze was that dude you didn’t expect or where were you when you saw your first boob? Being born in the 80’s, mine was through a scrambled PPV channel.


I hope this was a boob

Well, Star Wars fans, where were you when you first heard of the midichlorians being used as a way of explaining force sensitivity? Probably a movie theater or at home then immediately walking out of said movie or home. Continue reading “Star Wars: Midichlorians and the important role they play”

Friday the 13th; Why Jason kills & almost can’t be killed

Ch ch ch ch ah ah ah ah. A sound so famous & unique that it instantly triggers the image of the almost unkillable hockey mask wearing serial killer, Jason Voorhees.


2nd craziest bastard to wear a hockey mask

Now before I go any further I want to make it that this theory only applies t0 Friday the 13th movies 2 to 4. Everything from 6 and up Jason becomes a supernatural ghoul who literally goes the furthest reaches of hell to the furthest reaches of space.


Even Jason looks surprised by that decision

So why can’t Mr. J. Voorhees die? Well, he can as most of you who know the plots to the movies are probably yelling at screen, it just takes a lot to kill him. Continue reading “Friday the 13th; Why Jason kills & almost can’t be killed”

Justin Time: They are all spirits

Do you have kids? Does the idea of mentally scaring a kid disgust you? Are you a kid reading this right now? If you answered yes to any of the above I would recommend you stop here and check out my other fan theories because I am about to potentially ruin beloved children’s show, Justin Time. Also, get to bed you little booger.

Before I go any further I want to preface that I came up with this theory while I was watching my 2-year-old nephew while his parents went to the store. So are you ready? Good, let’s ruin Justin Time.


Not to be confused with this crap

Justin Time to put it simply is a show about a kid that imagines himself into different time eras where he was to help different people do different tasks with the help of his friend Olive.


Now powered by childrens tears

What I am proposing is that Justin is not just imagining these things, he is living them. Now albeit his adventures are not exactly what you would expect from time travelers after all this is a kids show. It’s unlikely he is John Connering this.

Now how is Justin living them out you ask? I propose a very simple answer, Justin is calling upon his spirit guides to help him get out of real world situation he is afraid to face himself and yes you read that correctly, a spirit guide. Continue reading “Justin Time: They are all spirits”

Star Wars: Uncovering Snoke’s identity

Snoke. A name that has been boggling Star Wars fans and spellcheck programs for over a year now. Since he was introduced, fans from all over the world have been asking questions about him. Who is Snoke? How is he connected to the skywalkers? Is he tired of motherfucking snakes on his motherfucking base?


 Ankin was the only snake

Hands down the most frequently debated topic around Snoke is his true identity. Some theories have him slated to be a reincarnated Darth Plagus, reincarnated Darth Vader, Mace Windu, Emporer Palpatine, Jar Jar fucking Bings and so on. Hell for all we know he could be a force sensitive, sentient Rancor out for revenge against Luke for what he did to his father in episode 6.


Well, I would propose a new candidate for the identity of Snoke. Fanboys I beg, please listen to everything I have to say before you decide to hunt me down and do to me what Han did to that thing in episode 5 to keep Luke warm. My theory is that Snoke is Maz Kanata

Let’s look at some facts. As per episode 7, Snoke is revealed to have seen the rise and fall of the Galactic empire. Continue reading “Star Wars: Uncovering Snoke’s identity”

Halloween: Understanding Michael Myers and why he can take so much damage.

Michael Myers has congenital insensitivity to pain.. It is because of this abnormality as to why he can take so much damage (bullets , beatings etc) and still keep trucking on and bust through doors like the Kool-Aid man but instead of giving you a refreshing drink, he gives you a cold taste of death.


This would also explain his inhuman like strength. Now why in Gods name a mental institution decided that letting the homicidal maniac go to the gym and buff up was a good idea is beyond me. What I can say is that without feeling any pain, Michael is able to exerts himself beyond that of normal people. There is no pain indicator that to tell him he is going rip something. The term “No pain , no gain” does not apply to him because he doesn’t feel pain so to him it’s all gains.


Why does this picture exist?

From the Wikipedia entry, most cases of CI happen to be in Sweden. The surname Myers just happens to be an old Norse surname meaning marsh. Keeping this in mind, I turn to Rob Zombie 2007 Halloween remake were we are introduced to a young Michael Myers As we can see, young crazy seems to resemble all the typical Swedish features such as the pale skin and blonde hair. Continue reading “Halloween: Understanding Michael Myers and why he can take so much damage.”