Friday the 13th; Why Jason kills & almost can’t be killed

Ch ch ch ch ah ah ah ah. A sound so famous & unique that it instantly triggers the image of the almost unkillable hockey mask wearing serial killer, Jason Voorhees.

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2nd craziest bastard to wear a hockey mask

Now before I go any further I want to make it that this theory only applies t0 Friday the 13th movies 2 to 4. Everything from 6 and up Jason becomes a supernatural ghoul who literally goes the furthest reaches of hell to the furthest reaches of space.

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Even Jason looks surprised by that decision

So why can’t Mr. J. Voorhees die? Well, he can as most of you who know the plots to the movies are probably yelling at screen, it just takes a lot to kill him. Continue reading “Friday the 13th; Why Jason kills & almost can’t be killed”

Justin Time: They are all spirits

Do you have kids? Does the idea of mentally scaring a kid disgust you? Are you a kid reading this right now? If you answered yes to any of the above I would recommend you stop here and check out my other fan theories because I am about to potentially ruin beloved children’s show, Justin Time. Also, get to bed you little booger.

Before I go any further I want to preface that I came up with this theory while I was watching my 2-year-old nephew while his parents went to the store. So are you ready? Good, let’s ruin Justin Time.

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Not to be confused with this crap

Justin Time to put it simply is a show about a kid that imagines himself into different time eras where he was to help different people do different tasks with the help of his friend Olive.

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Now powered by childrens tears

What I am proposing is that Justin is not just imagining these things, he is living them. Now albeit his adventures are not exactly what you would expect from time travelers after all this is a kids show. It’s unlikely he is John Connering this.

Now how is Justin living them out you ask? I propose a very simple answer, Justin is calling upon his spirit guides to help him get out of real world situation he is afraid to face himself and yes you read that correctly, a spirit guide. Continue reading “Justin Time: They are all spirits”

Star Wars: Uncovering Snoke’s identity

Snoke. A name that has been boggling Star Wars fans and spellcheck programs for over a year now. Since he was introduced, fans from all over the world have been asking questions about him. Who is Snoke? How is he connected to the skywalkers? Is he tired of motherfucking snakes on his motherfucking base?

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 Ankin was the only snake

Hands down the most frequently debated topic around Snoke is his true identity. Some theories have him slated to be a reincarnated Darth Plagus, reincarnated Darth Vader, Mace Windu, Emporer Palpatine, Jar Jar fucking Bings and so on. Hell for all we know he could be a force sensitive, sentient Rancor out for revenge against Luke for what he did to his father in episode 6.

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Well, I would propose a new candidate for the identity of Snoke. Fanboys I beg, please listen to everything I have to say before you decide to hunt me down and do to me what Han did to that thing in episode 5 to keep Luke warm. My theory is that Snoke is Maz Kanata

Let’s look at some facts. As per episode 7, Snoke is revealed to have seen the rise and fall of the Galactic empire. Continue reading “Star Wars: Uncovering Snoke’s identity”

Halloween: Understanding Michael Myers and why he can take so much damage.

Michael Myers has congenital insensitivity to pain.. It is because of this abnormality as to why he can take so much damage (bullets , beatings etc) and still keep trucking on and bust through doors like the Kool-Aid man but instead of giving you a refreshing drink, he gives you a cold taste of death.

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This would also explain his inhuman like strength. Now why in Gods name a mental institution decided that letting the homicidal maniac go to the gym and buff up was a good idea is beyond me. What I can say is that without feeling any pain, Michael is able to exerts himself beyond that of normal people. There is no pain indicator that to tell him he is going rip something. The term “No pain , no gain” does not apply to him because he doesn’t feel pain so to him it’s all gains.

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Why does this picture exist?

From the Wikipedia entry, most cases of CI happen to be in Sweden. The surname Myers just happens to be an old Norse surname meaning marsh. Keeping this in mind, I turn to Rob Zombie 2007 Halloween remake were we are introduced to a young Michael Myers As we can see, young crazy seems to resemble all the typical Swedish features such as the pale skin and blonde hair. Continue reading “Halloween: Understanding Michael Myers and why he can take so much damage.”